Journey

I remember last time I travelled with my father was 13 years ago for my university entrance interview. We spent one light in the hotel near Taipei train station, he took me to a very small restaurant in a very small lane to have a very traditional chinese porriage as our dinner that he often ate when he was young. However, I failed the test, I felt so sorry in my mind that I didn't do my best for the interview. But he never said anything and complained to me. 

This time we have our journey to Taipei for my uncle's funeral, his eldest brother,died 2 weeks ago, at 87 years old. I couldn't tell how sad my father is, and also hesitated to ask him. Normally, we don't talk about our feelings to each other. Just like a very traditional chinese relationship between parents and children.

Last night, before I went out buying two white envelopes, mom reminded me seriously ” DO NOT buy more than you need.”

“It's just a superstition!!!!” said I impolitely!

Nevertheless, I kept her words….

“2, that's the number I need~ and I don't need more “

“Run quickly, the fire is coming!!!” when the coffin was pushed into the crematory place, the funeral assistant told the whole family to say the sentence loudly, it's also the last sentence we said to uncle.

Still, I couldn't tell my father's feelings behind his glasses while everyone was crying and yelling the sentence aloud.

It is really a sorrowful ceremony that made me cry as well, however, it's not because I know my uncle a lot, it's because I was so touched and heartbroken how people and my family suffered from such deep pain when they lose the dearest love.

Next week, we have another funeral to attend, my aunt, the older sister of my father, died several days ago, at 79 years old. Mom told me that she was just like his mother, to bring him up since he is the youngest kid in the big family. Again, when we talked about the funeral, “of course I am sad, but I also dare to see her when the coffin opens”~ said he mildly~

In my generation and his generation, I do believe most people keep a little distance with parents, not because we don't love them, but we love them more than we thought that we don't realize. And it's just the way how we deal with the relationship, we don't express our feelings strongly~

I enjoyed the journey with my father, running together for catching up with the train. have a small but pleasant chat on the way home, share one cup of expensive juice~

And I know it will be always the way which never changes~

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Life is indeed a journey, but it is also a journey fulled with stories and beloved family, friends. How people cherish those, how bright the journey is~

I will always remember ~